Love or Obsession?

I believe the most interesting thing about the essence of romance in the Middle Ages was based on rules. Not only that love was based on rules but that women frequently tended to enjoy a lot more than men. I can see why these women would enjoy such a reading because they are actually viewed as an equivalent and significant to men rather than something of lesser value. This could even make women feel empowered and maybe even more appreciated.  By reading the rules of Courtly Love, I can clearly see how much romance has changed and the extent at which it has changed as well.

The court of love defined courtly love as” Love is a certain inborn suffering derived from the sight of and excessive meditation upon the beauty of the opposite sex, which causes each one to wish above all things the embraces of the other and by common desire to carry out all of love’s precepts in the other’s embraces.” In modern romance, love and suffering tend to go hand in hand, but in the Middle Ages infatuation and obsession go together, not necessarily “love”. Courtly love tends to be shallow and sensual in my opinion because it focuses on the “beauty of the opposite sex” and there tends to be a great amount of embracing. Many romance novels today resemble the “bodice ripping” kind of love which can be translated to being demeaning to women today.

In the Middle Ages, “He who is not jealous cannot love”. In romance today, one lover making another jealous is prominent in romance. According to this rule those who play mind games really love each other. In today’s society using jealousy to keep a lover seems foolish. Being that trust is so big and is a possible integral part of love, it makes playing on jealousy counterproductive. This could be a speculation, but maybe in the Middle Ages, this rule was not associated with jealousy but with passion. What I mean by this is that a lover is willing to do anything for their love. Yes, even myself find making someone jealous to find true love is slightly petty but, modern romance still makes room for this ritual.

Courtly Love was definitely looked down upon by a large population of the intellectuals in the Middle Age society. The intellectuals that were in this society read things in Latin, and unfortunately Courtly Love was written in French. In today’s world, (a little speculation) people may put love off until they reach certain career goals or they think that they won’t find love because they are intelligent. Possibly, wealthy people today may not feel as if they have anything in common with someone who is less wealthy or less intelligent than them, so there is a minor correlation in intelligence and wealth in when love is involved in today’s society. Although, I believe that more people are open to understanding in today’s society than in the Middle Ages, I still find that minor correlation interesting to bring up.

Will the world ever revert back to these rules? I could never know in the world we are living in right now I would say that Modern lovers are trying to stray away from tradition instead of following rules. I know that Romance has changed since the days of Eleanor of Aquitaine but there is definitely some consistency in the way that men and women till play mind games, love has always been considered a two-way street, and lovers always have a common ground for passion and trust in relationships today. I loved seeing the correlation between Modern Romance and Romance in the Middle Ages.