Monday, April 3, 2017

Lewdness, Mockery, and Other Things Of Course This Miller Would Include

Maybe I just don’t get offended as easily as I think I do, but I’m??? Not??? Offended??? Let’s go through the possible things with which one might take offense:
-Claiming God told you something He didn’t: I suspect people do this all the time in real life, and I’m a million times more concerned about that than about what one horny little clerk does in one story. As for what said horny clerk (Nicholas) uses it for, well, he could’ve come up with a different plan, but this is the one he went with. Honestly, I found the setup to the story’s later antics a little dull.
-Mooning: Meh? The miller is telling this story. For those of you who haven’t read the general prologue, he tends toward lewd stories anyway. He’d probably be great at Cards Against Humanity if he understood Modern English and all the cultural references.

“Who is Michelle Obama and what is it about his armes?”
“This card has too many words. I cannot understand them alle.”

Anyway, I’m actually glad that the hair on Alison’s rear end is portrayed as normal. People have body hair! Who would’ve guessed?
-Accidental butt-kissing: It was an ACCIDENT on that dork Absolon’s part. What part of “Abak he stirte, and thoghte it was amis, / For wel he wiste a womman hath no berd; / He felte a thing al rough and long y-herd, / And seyde, ‘Fy! Allas, what have I do?’” do you not understand (3736-3739)?
-Farting: Meh? I would just repeat what I said about mooning. Sure, it’s not the kind of thing you want to read while eating, but . . . meh?
-Adultery: To the students taking ENGL222, or whichever other class might read this:

As for us, we’re more than halfway through ENGL284. We have read so many stories about people cheating on their spouses and courting people who are already married that I’d be surprised if anyone isn’t at least a little desensitized to such tales.

One more thing: Would you agree that, out of everyone in this story, the carpenter John is most similar in social status to the miller? Why do you think he told a story in which a guy like him is so blindingly trusting of his horny clerk friend? Why not make a fool of the educated clerk? My guess is the miller is making a bit of fun of his upper-class and better-educated travel companions. Sure, Nicholas might be clever, but he is committing adultery (which they all would have claimed to disapprove of) and he gets his butt burned with a hot poker. Then there’s Absolon, who’s just a doof throughout this entire story (though burning Nicholas’s butt with a hot poker was a quality move there).

Considering all this, would you want to hear more stories from the miller? I might, just as along as I’m not eating while listening!

Chaucer, Geoffrey. The Canterbury Tales. Edited by V.A. Kolve and Glending Olson, W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2005.

I pledge that I have neither given nor received any unauthorized aid on this assignment.

Miranda A. Barrientos

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